Bassist@Large

Rant

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 01:17:03 GMT

So...I've been let go from yet another "Classic Rock" project. As usual...the problem is MY ATTITUDE.

Here's my problem:

I haven't been in/auditioned for/talked about a band in 5 years that hasn't been more worried about GETTING GIGS, than they were about HAVING SOMETHING TO SHOW PEOPLE. Bands grab the lowest common denominator songs, jam them onstage, wearing tshirts and jeans, picking the barest minimum songs needed, ones that wont take a bunch of rehearsal, and go.

The ONLY Calgary band I've seen put ANY real thought into their presentaion, is Broken Toys. Then again, no other band in the city can pack a bar, with lineups by 10, on a tuesday night either.

This isnt to say that Calgary wants or needs a Kiss-style bar band, or some big huge 80's presentation, or a "gimmick," but I think some thought about presentation goes a long way. Did the guys in the band take time to dress similarly? Like they are a BAND? Or is everyone wearing whatever. Is there something for lights? Is there at least a banner? Is there something different about these guys, so people will remember them, even after the hangover?

Now, I'm going to paint with a wide brush here... but GENERALLY the people going to bars EVERY friday and saturday night are 18 to 25. The people in their 30s have wives and kids at home. Is the band playing music they like, or are they convincing themselves that all 18 year old kids are as in love with Zepplin as they are? personally, I dont see a lot of 18 year old bar kids that think Trooper is great anymore.

What music is the band playing? It is fun ...dancy party music? People want to have fun when they are partying. We have 50 YEARS worth of rock and roll to choose from... are you playing songs because they are great songs, or because "Everyone else plays them?"

That being said...even what Smokin Clovers does, goes against a lot of this. BUT, the Smoking Clovers isn't my band...I'm a hired gun. I'm blessed enough to get hired by a guy who respects my opinion. What we are talking about is a "Classic Rock Cover Band". I get asked to do one at least once a month.

I've done the generic band thing to death, and refuse to put energy into yet another half assed band, with nothing to say.

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 22:44:29 GMT

OK...I'm stressed.

I've been able to handle the shopping season, and all that goes with it, with a reasonably pleasant demeanor. I've been saying for months that I want to be finding a new place in the new year, and I wasn't making any big changes until the new year.

The Universe it seems, has other plans.

Paula let me know that Jazz has to move. Now.

So...I started looking for a place...I was stressed, but I could handle it. I wasn't happy about this bomb being dropped in my lap, but whatever.

I found a place. nice...4 blocks from work. Cool. gave my notice, and started planning a move.

Then this morning, the guy lets me know he has changed his mind. he found a woman with a kid that "Needs the space more than I do."

So I'm back to square 0ne, only now its with notice given.

Fuck.

Writer's Block: Total Transformation

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 23:14:31 GMT

What's the most drastic change you've ever made to your appearance?

View 500 Answers

I went from hair halfway down my back to completely bald.

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 20:17:49 GMT

Some things I've read/heard lately that I liked:

"God gave us memories, so we could see roses in December."

"There's a difference between fishing, and standing on the shore, looking like an idiot."

"The children the world almost breaks, will become the adults that save it."

Great stuff that.

One of those songs...

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 09:13:13 GMT

Dave Simpson turned me on to this.

Wow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uL8A-b9XZaI

Foy Vance
An Indiscriminate Act of Kindness

She came in from the cold. Wet!
Dropped her luggage bags; looked the concierge in the eye
And said ‚I need a room for the night but I don't got no money.
Will you take payment in kind?
He said ‚ alright. I've got a room here you can share mine.

Make the bed in the morning and that'll do fine.
You can change in the bathroom, hang your clothes on the line‚
A tear came to here eye as she thought‚ How could he be so kind

She sat down on the bed with a needle
He said I'd hate to see you bleed
I'll just fetch a warm towel and sit with you till your dry
She started to cry saying ‚Why‚ why, why

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness!

She was cold turkey. He was holding her hand.
She said I was ruined by a man‚ and this was never in my plan,
I dreamed of men who loved me together we'd see the world
But somehow I lost myself among the insults they hurled

I'm sure you're a wonderful woman, and someday there'll surely be someone
So just relax now. It's important that you're calm
She said‚ how is it you can see past me as I am

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness!

When you took your chances it was like you placed a bet
And sometimes this is the reward you can get
I was always taught when you see someone defiled
You should look them in the eye and smile
Take their hand or better still, take them home. Home. Home?

She awoke early in the morning made the bed gathered up her clothes to leave
Saw the concierge curled on the settee
And said what you did for me is hard for me to believe

I was just doing what was right.
No one that knows love could leave you out there on such a night.
If you can help someone bear this in mind
and consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness!

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 18:55:43 GMT

A friend of mine, who has never known me not sober, got an earful of some of the "Dumb Shit I Done" when I was drinking.

Her thoughts to me afterwards were "I cant believe you would ever really act that way."

Wow.

Other things in my world:

A very good friend, who relapsed, is in the hospital, and close to dead. 4 tubes out of his lungs, constant pain, and in total denial that it had anything to do with drugs.

I have a difficult time trying to describe how this makes me feel.

Other than that..my life is steady as she goes. I think, in the big picture, any of the other stuff bothering me in my world is small potatoes.

And thats some growth.

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 22:42:20 GMT

If you comment on this entry...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on yours.

Emotions in Motion.

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:25:15 GMT

I'm very emotional today.

They warned me about it. I put my emotions away for a long time. I didn't like to FEEL. I've always been emotional, and dont like it. I buried this shit away for a reason, not to dig it up later.

Anyway. This song has been on my mind. It seems to speak on where I am. Its a fantastic song, and despite the "God" word, isnt a Christian song.

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God's love be with you
Always
May God's love be with you

I know i would apologize if i could see your eyes
'Cause when you showed me myself i became someone else
But i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can't keep awake

May God's love be with you
Always
May God's love be with you

'Cause if i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
If i find
If i find my own way
How much will i find
You

I don't know anymore
What it's for
I'm not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
'Cause i been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you're not even sure what it's for
Any more than me

May God's love be with you
Always
May God's love be with you

Steady as she goes.

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 17:53:01 GMT

So...whats new in my world?

Not a bunch.

Working a lot, and waiting for the $$$ to catch up. As much as I love my new amp, this was the WRONG time of year to commit to 650 bucks coming off my check, 3 months in a row.

BUT...Did I mention that I LOVE my new amp?

Doing my Step 9's, slowly but surely. I'm continually amazed at the reactions I get from people, when I tell them I feel I owe them amends. Some good, some bad.

I got a laptop, and now spend FAR too much time playing World of Warcraft.

Single still...but starting to date a bit again.

Smoking Clovers is giggigng 2x a month now, and I have some other stuff going on as well.

Thats about it really....steady as she goes....

Sun, 26 Aug 2007 19:49:43 GMT

Your Score: The Surprising Lover

59% partner focus, 47% aggressiveness, 70% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather be pursued than do the pursuing and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Surprising Lover.

The Surprising Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and, like the name implies, is often filled with hidden delights and talents that might not be apparent from a surface knowledge of the person. The Surprising Lover is rather like a geode--sometimes rough on the exterior, but filled with beauty and wonder. The Surprising Lover is thus a gem to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they often tend to be humble and unwilling to reveal their inner greatness unless they're in a rewarding relationship.

In terms of physical love, the Surprising Lover really shines, often highly imaginative and utterly devoted to bringing the heights of pleasure to the one that they truly love. Given a rewarding, reciprocative relationship, and the right lover, the Surprising Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Carnal Lover (most of all) or the Exotic Lover, or the Suave Lover.

Congratulations!

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:

Nerds, Geeks & Dorks

Professional Wrestling

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

Link: The Lover Style Profile Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 18:14:16 GMT

STARBUCKS The Way I see it #234

How have we become so addicted to petroleum oil? How would the world be different if we could make all our own fuel in our own country? For the last two years I have driven to work on soybeans. This is possible in our lifetime.

-- Martin Tobias
CEO of Imperium Renewables, a biodiesel refinery company.

How would the world be different?

Food prices would skyrocket as fuel crops replaced food crops in "America's Breadbasket." 3rd World nations would starve by the millions on a global scale, as the surplus food created by the US and Canada dried up. Not only would you need a morgage to be able to drive an SUV, but also to feed your family after.

This is already happening.

In Mexico, corn for biofuel is replacing agave as a crop. In response, the price of tequilia is going up.

Imagine the impact if every gas-guzzling SUV in the US and Canada needs that bio-fuel?

Martin Tobias has has imagined the impact.

On his wallet.

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 17:58:02 GMT

I cant trust my brain anymore.

I havent slept well for over a week, I'm not eating, and creating my own mental dramas again.

I thought this went away with alcohol.

So Shannon and I have at least come to better understanding of each other. I knew I was twisting things around in my mind, but hadnt realized why. I'm back to trying to warp my world to my will.

This makes me feel....insane.

I'm back to feeling Broken. I know WHAT this is, and that its not true....I just don't know why it back.

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 18:01:04 GMT

My mind is starting to attack me again.

I'm finding a lot of little hurts, moodiness, and generally down feelings returning lately.

I'm also getting some pangs of guilt over stuff that I did when drinking, that I THOUGHT I had forgiven myself for in my Step 5 returning. And a panic attack.

Someone in AA I talk to a lot, one of the counselors at 1835, tells me this is normal. Its sabotage created by my addiction. Its almost a year, and that quiet voice in my head has started whispering doubts and fears again.

"Why haven't I accomplished more in a year of sobriety? Why haven't I done more step 9s? Shouldn't I be away from 1835, and living in a place thats my own, with Jazz?"

"Shouldn't I be HAPPY?"

Shannon noted to me last night that she's noticed me becoming "gradually more negative" as time goes by.

I do notice feeling...HURT a lot lately. Not major catastrophe hurt, but, reaching out, and getting burned hurt. Its seems like a lot of the people in my world have left me feeling disapointed lately. Its like I've suddenly stopped seeing the good in everything.

The small voice in my mind that calls for isolation is screaming.

All in all, its not enough to drink over, but I think part of my problem is learning to deal with the noise sober. I don't feel connected with God, and the Universe lately.

Almost like I've been abandoned. The Spirit of the Universe that has kept me cocooned and safe for a year has released me back out into the world. Kicked out of the nest.

So this is just me journaling where I'm at. I needed to speak on it.

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 18:24:56 GMT

Check out my Dark Ages profile!

Sat, 23 Jun 2007 15:16:23 GMT

So...whats new in my world....

Had my birthday on monday. It was pleasant. I worked...well, slacked off at work, but you get the idea. Did a meeting, then celtica brought me yummy raspberry loaf, and took me out to watch people whacking at each other with sticks.

I found heavy combat to be dreadfully pedestrian, but they tell me I can learn Rapier fighting through them as well. (Thanks guys! You know who you are!)

I smell another new sword on the horizon....

Tuesday I got dinner and another gift certificate from Shannon, a karuna reiki session, and the new Wilco CD. Wednesday I spent gift certificates. It was all very nice.

Work is going well. The new manager is great, if too hyperactive. The store is doing well, business is up, and my sales are up. More money makes me happy.

I think thats about all...for now....

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 15:44:00 GMT

I noticed something on my walk home yesterday.

I happened to see an empty RED BULL can in the gutter. Ants were going in and out, taking that last sip back to the hill...as ants tend to do.

Then I realized....

Those were the FASTEST ants I had ever seen!

More swords.

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 23:01:04 GMT

I have thought about collecting swords for a long time. While I was still drinking, it wasnt feasable...not only economically, but lets face it...the thought of me getting arrested for running around wasted and half naked, waving aound a katana, yelling "There can be only One!!" wasn't much of a stretch for a while there....

Anyway..this is what I'm considering....

1310 The Ranger

The Lord of the Rings Ranger sword is a recreation from the popular trilogy written by J.R,.R. Tolkien. The Ranger is hand Crafted with 1060 High Carbon steel, tempered to a Rockwell of 53. The beautifully detailed leather handle is accentuated by a Ring, representing the Ring of Power. The blade is forged with a deep full length fuller and slightly curved quillions. .

Specifications
Total length: 46.5"
Blade length: 36"
Crossguard: 10"
Handle and pommel 10".

Because you never know when I might have to hold off a horde of Orcs.

In Bankview.

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 23:37:03 GMT

Thu, 31 May 2007 15:37:20 GMT

IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I want to know 28 things about you. I don't care if we've never talked, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. I really don't. You are obviously on my flist, so let me know with whom I'm friends!

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Movie:
5. Favourite Song or Album:
6. Favourite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favourite memory of us?
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they :
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school:
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

Smokin.......

Thu, 17 May 2007 20:00:23 GMT

Its a Smokin' Clovers long weekend at the Trap!!

fri and sat night....your fave Celtic rock trio.

MacLeod Tr. and 38th ave S

DANCING REQUIRED....

Mon, 14 May 2007 20:08:23 GMT

Today was one of those days where the State of my Life was on my mind.

The life I have today is was beyond my imagination a year ago. I was back cooking again, a job I had taken a) because I didn't think I would ever work in music retail again, and b) I could show up hung over. I was alone, hating my world, and living just to get drunk.

Today I'm healthy, and vibrant, back at a job I love, dating someone who is pretty amazing, in a completly open and up front relationship.

I dont wake up sick, smelly, and wondering how I got home.

I was at Safeway this morning, getting a coffee at Starbucks, feeling well rested at 8 am, ....

... and thanked God for showing me how great my world can be.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God; your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

NELSON MANDELA, inaugural speech, 1994

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 16:51:30 GMT

I am a
Hydrangea

What Flower
Are You?

I've never even heard of these...can you smoke it?

My sick head

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:49:27 GMT

So...I got let go from the "corporate project" I was helping to build.

Evidently Steve got a call from a bassist he used to work with. So I got dropped like a hot rock.

I had been labouring under the impression that I wasn't going to get fired from bands anymore, now that I'm sober. I seem to have been mistaken.

Its not that I was really even gung-ho about this thing. To be honest, I'm kindof happy about it.

My sponsor in AA told me that, for him, his Alcoholism has a voice.

It seems mine does as well...I'm just suddenly hearing it very clearly. It takes something small, and twists it around my quiet fears.

Its not just a matter of someone becoming available that Steve used to work with, its that "I'm not good enough, and I suck, and it doesn't matter, so I might as well get drunk. That would make me feel better......"

No...I'm not planning on drinking, dear reader....just analyzing what is going on in my head.

I know that this isnt the truth, and that God has a bigger plan out there for my life.

But it still makes me sad, and I have to learn to deal with that.

a new friend...

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 15:03:51 GMT

In the interest of being purely different, I cleaned out an old coffee maker, put in some rocks and fake plants, cut off the power cord, filled it with water, and put it on the top of my fridge.

Feeling immensely proud of myself, and my bit of art, I went on with my day.

I came home that night, to discover that a wayward Betta fish had found my little art piece, and being a fan of the eclectic himself, moved right in.

So I now have a fish named Blue, who lives in a Proctor-Silex on top of my fridge.

He's a pretty easy to deal with roommate, as far as roomies go.

There has only been one issue so far....

The other day he watched me cook salmon for dinner.

He's been giving me funny looks ever since.

New Acoustic

Fri, 30 Mar 2007 01:19:03 GMT

I broke down and ordered it today....

Look familiar? If you've ever seen the footage of the Beatles on Ed Sullivan, you've seen the original. Or try this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8UOHpMGG0Y

I had one before...but it got pawned when I was drinking.